Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Quotes on being a MAN!

Ok manly men, in all your manly glory... time to shine. Here are a collection of quotes that I have deemed "Profile Safe." This means that most women would not be offended by these expressions of manliness... and the ones that are? Well, you don't wanna date 'em anyway.

NOTE: Dude, like it or not but quoting Dr. Phil, Oprah or John Gray tells a woman that you are interested in women!!

Men are good in one way, but bad in many.

A man would never set out to write a book on the perculiar situation of the human male. But if I wish to define myself, I must first of all say: 'I am a human woman'.
--Simone de Bouavoir

When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.
--John Gray

Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.
--John Gray

Take it from a guy: If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon. You're going to get to her somehow, some way..
--Dr Phil McGraw

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
--Jerry Seinfeld

I'm 25 years old and I'm dealing with my responsibilities as a man and I'm not afraid to speak, to be realistic and talk about the issues men deal with in relationships.
--Usher (This is more of a great, honest thought guys. Paraphrase this to suit you and make it your own - Lola)

God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
--Robin Williams (Great way to address your shortcomings in a humorous way... just don't use it as a solid excuse guys... seriously. --Lola)

Men are what their mothers made them.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. poet, essayist and lecturer

The little man is still a man.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749-1832) German poet, novelist and dramatist.

It is easier to know men in general, than men in particular.
--Fran├žois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer.

Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor.
--Norman Mailer (1923-?) American writer.

The most unhappy and frail creatures are men and yet they are the proudest.
--Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533-1592) French philosopher and essayist.

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
--Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) (Mmmm! Yes. I like this one a LOT! - Lola)

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
-- Rudyard Kipling

It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that creates the tension and the delight.
-- Edward Abbey

Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.
-- Alan Holbrook

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
-- P. J. O'Rourke

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
-- Mae West (So true!! Just look a Jack Black! --Lola)

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
-- Elayne Boosler

Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.
-- Buddha

It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West

Men are all alike--except the one you've met who's different.
-- Mae West

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
-- Oscar Wilde

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
-- Mark Twain

A man may conquer a million men in battle but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.
-- Buddha

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.
-- Albert Einstein

Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be.
-- Proverb

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
-- Kathleen Mifsud

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
-- David Brinkley

A man of honor should never forget what he is because he sees what others are.
-- Balthazar Gracian

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.
-- Galileo Galilei

A man does not mind being blamed for his faults, and being punished for them, and he patiently suffers much for them; but he becomes impatient if he is required to give them up.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.
-- Epictetus

When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.
Louis Nizer

and lastly... I searched in vain to find the author to attribute this one to, but I couldn't so use it carefully... It was just too good to pass up:

"No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry."
-- Author Unknown

Quotes about being original

I know... it seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? You want to be original, I want you to be original; but here I am, giving you quotes on being original!

Well bubba, as long as you cite your source (the author, not my site) you WILL be original! Don't fool people and you will go a long way grasshopper!

Plus, some of these quotes may also serve to inspire you on your quest for the perfect profile. William Ralph Inge once said, "What is originality? Undetected plagiarism." ... but then again, William did not have access to the World Wide Web. Plagiarism does not go undetected forever these days.

If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over.
--Yiddish proverb

The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does.
No man or woman who tries to pursue an ideal in his or her own way is without enemies.
--Daisy Bates (1863-1951)

Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.
--James R. Cook

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
--Anatole France [Jacques Anatole Thibault] (1844-1924)

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
--Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
--Walter Lippmann (1889-1974)

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
--Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
--Mark Twain [Samuel Clemens] (1835-1910)

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
--Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)

Don't be a blueprint. Be an original.
--Roy Acuff (1903 - 1992)

A lotta cats copy the Mona Lisa, but people still line up to see the original.
--Louis Armstrong (1900 - 1971)

It is said that everyone is born an original and dies a copy.
--Myron Augsburger

Genius . . . arises in the natural, aboriginal concern for the conscious unity of all phenomena.
--Mary Austin (1868 - 1934) US writer, suffragist
"Earth Horizon," 1932.

Originality is the essence of true scholarship. Creativity is the soul of the true scholar.
--Nnamdi Azikiwe

Pretension almost always overdoes the original, and hence exposes itself.
--Hosea Ballou (1771 - 1852) US clergyman

Be yourself. The world worships the original.
--Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982)

GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.
--Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)
The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
--Josh Billings (1818 - 1885) US writer

A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education.
--Smiley Blanton

Imitation, if noble and general, insures the best hope of originality.
--Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton (1803 - 1873) English statesman, poet

Less than fifteen per cent of the people do any original thinking on any subject . . . The greatest torture in the world for most people is to think.
--Luther Burbank (1849 - 1926) US naturalist, plant breeder

Originality is a thing we constantly clamour for, and constantly quarrel with.
--Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881) Scottish essayist, historian

The human mind prefers to be spoon-fed with the thoughts of others, but deprived of such nourishment it will, reluctantly, begin to think for itself - and such thinking, remember, is original thinking and may have valuable results.
--Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976) English author, dramatist
"The Moving Finger," 1942.

The most original thing a writer can do is write like himself. It is also his most difficult task.
--Robertson Davies (1913 - 1995)

When we discover that the truth is already in us, we are all at once our original selves.
--Dogen (1200 - 1253) Japanese religious leader

I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
--Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) Scottish author, physician
Sherlock Holmes in "A Study in Scarlet," ch. 2, 1887.

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. There are no prima donnas in engineering.
--Freeman Dyson (1923 -) English physicist, educator
"Disturbing the Universe," pt. 1, ch. 10, 1979.

Keep on the lookout for novel ideas that others have used successfully. Your idea has to be original only in its adaptation to the problem you're working on.
--Thomas Edison (1847 - 1931) US inventor
In "A Kick in the Seat of the Pants," by Roger von Oech, 1986.

We sometimes meet an original gentleman, who, if manners had not existed, would have invented them.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

If they haven't heard it before, it's original.
--Gene Fowler (1890 - 1960) US journalist, biographer

Originality is something that is easily exaggerated, especially by authors contemplating their own work.
--John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 -) US economist, diplomat, author

The most original of authors are not so because they advance what is new, but more because they know how to say something, as if it had never been said before.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) German poet, dramatist

Every human being on this earth is born with a tragedy, and it isn't original sin. He was born with the tragedy that he has to grow up. A lot of people don't have the courage to do it.
--Helen Hayes (1900 - 1993) US actress

Don't worry about your originality. You couldn't get rid of it even if you wanted to. It will stick with you and show up for better or worse in spite of all you or anyone else can do.
--Robert Henri (1865 - 1929) US painter

Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes.
--Thomas W. Higginson (1823 - 1911) US clergyman, author

The invention of IQ did a great disservice to creativity in education . . . . Individuality, personality, originality, are too precious to be meddled with by amateur psychiatrists whose patterns for a "wholesome personality" are inevitably their own.
--Joel Hildebrand

Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841 - 1935)

I have a theory that the only original things we ever do are mistakes.
--Billy Joel (1949 -)

Originality is the art of concealing your source.
--Franklin P. Jones (1887 - 1929) US businessman
In "Quote Magazine."

Many have original minds who do not think it -- they are led away by custom.
--John Keats (1795 - 1821) English poet

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
--Arthur Koestler (1905 - 1983) Hungarian-English novelist, essayist

A gesture cannot be regarded as the expression of an individual, as his creation (because no individual is capable of creating a fully original gesture, belonging to nobody else), nor can it even be regarded as that person's instrument . . .
--Milan Kundera (1929 -) Czech novelist, playwright, poet
Immortality, pt. 1, ch. 2 (1991).

The only good imitations are those that poke fun at bad originals.
--Francois LaRochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) French author

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
--Fran Lebowitz (1950 -) US journalist
"Social Studies," "People," 1981.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
--G. C. Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) German physicist, writer

Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality overcomes everything.
--George Lois

Nothing else so destroys the power to stand alone as the habit of leaning upon others. If you lean, you will never be strong or original. Stand alone or bury your ambition to be somebody in the world.
--Orison Swett Marden (1906 - 1975) US lawyer

While an original is always hard to find, he is easy to recognize.
--John L. Mason (1906 - 1975) US lawyer
"An Enemy Called Average."

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself. Also, you will have betrayed your community in failing to make your contribution.
--Rollo May (1909 - 1994) US psychoanalyst
"The Courage to Create," 1975.

It is better to be good than to be original.
--Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886 - 1969) German-US architect

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.
--Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) German philosopher, poet

The more intelligent one is, the more men of originality one finds. Ordinary people find no difference between men.
--Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662) French mathematician, physicist, theologian
"Penspes," 1670; no. 510 ed. by Krailsheimer, no. 7 ed. by Brunschvicg.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
--Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1990) Canadian-US educator, author

A great idea is usually original to more than one discoverer. Great ideas come when the world needs them. Great ideas surround the world's ignorance and press for admission.
--Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, US novelist

Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality.
--Beatrix Potter (1866 - 1943) English author

An original is a creation motivated by desire. Any reproduction of an original is motivated be necessity. . . It is marvelous that we are the only species that creates gratuitous forms. To create is divine, to reproduce is human.
--Man Ray (1890 - 1976) US painter, sculptor, photographer
"Originals Graphic Multiples" (published in Objets de Mon Affection, 1983; repr. in Neil Baldwin, Man Ray, ch. 24, 1988).

Great innovators and original thinkers and artists attract the wrath of mediocrities as lightning rods draw the flashes.
--Theodor Reik (1888 - 1969) US psychoanalyst, author

The Great don't innovate, they fertilize seeds planted by lackeys, they leave to others the inhaling of the flowers whose roots they've manured. A deceptive memory may be the key to their originality.
--Ned Rorem (1923 -) US composer

Originality depends only on the character of the drawing and the vision peculiar to each artist.
--Georges Seurat (1859 - 1891) French artist, painter
Spoken to Vincent van Gohg, quoted in "Seurat and the Science of Painting," by William I. Homer, 1964.

What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.
--George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) English dramatist, critic

Originality is not seen in single words or even sentences. Originality is the sum total of a man's thinking or his writing.
--Isaac Singer (1904 - 1991) Polish-US novelist, short-story writer
New York Times Magazine, Mar. 12, 1978

Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself.
--James Stephens (1882 - 1950) Irish poet, storyteller

One essential ingredient for being an original in the day of copies is courageous vision.
--Charles Swindoll

Originality is nothing by judicious imitation. The most original writers borrowed one from another.
--Voltaire (1694 - 1778) French philosopher, poet, novelist, playwright

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dating Profile Writing Tips - Part 1

Writing a dating profile is tougher than some people think... Well maybe not all people, but if you are having a hard time writing your profile, I will post some tips here to help you.

Tip #1 - Take Your Time and Take it Offline

So you've been waiting... and searching... and hoping to find "the one." I understand - once you decide to take the plunge into online dating, you don't want to wait any longer, right?

All I have to say about that is "patience grasshopper!" Your profile is your one and only chance to make that first impression. Think of it as your brand. Do you think Nike looked at that swoosh of theirs and said, "Fine. Whatever. Just put it on there." Hell NO! They had a think tank of creative types invent their whole branding message!

Unfortunately, you do not have that luxury but here's what you can do instead:

  1. Take it offline! Write your profile in a word document or hide your profile from the world until you're ready to unveil the masterpiece that is YOU!

  2. Sleep on it! Once you write your profile, walk away from it for a day or two. Then, go back and look at it with "fresh eyes." That way, not only will you catch any dreaded spelling or grammar errors, but you may also come up with a catchier or wittier way to say something.

  3. Incubate! Your subconscious is your greatest asset! Once you've written something, you may think it's "out of your system" but what's really happening is that you've just moved the topic from your conscious to your sub-conscious... and that's when the magic happens! As you continue in your daily routine, your sub-conscious is still gnawing away at the work you've done and the next time you open that profile, chances are you automatically will see a better, more clever way of saying something! It's true!

  4. Share it with a friend. Find a close friend you trust (or family member!) and ask for his/her opinion. You real friends will never steer you wrong. They want what's best for you and they also may be able to help you say what you want to say. Sometimes it hard to talk yourself up but that's something that comes very easy to a good friend. Plus, they'll tell you if something in your profile might be taken the wrong way.
    Example: "Dude, I know that you love to hunt for worms and go fishing, but do you really think it's wise to put 'loves to creep around front lawns at night with a flashlight' in your profile?!?"

  5. If you're really stuck, hire a professional... like me! I will be offering my professional writing services for a modest fee but until I get that set up, feel free to comment on this blog with a line from your profile that's bugging you most and I'll try to suggest something better for FREE!

Once you feel good (or even just better) about what you've written, that's the time for you to put it out there for the world to see.

...And if you ~really~ can't wait, why not hone your profile on a "free" dating site like Yahoo! Personals 7 Day FREE Trial offer
to "test the waters" with... so to speak. That way, you can tweak your profile and test out a service at the same time!

Good luck and go get 'em tiger! ;)
Stay tuned for more profile writing tips!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Adding Quotes to Your Profile

So... You want to pimp out your profile verbally? The best and easiest way to do that is with quotes. Quoting someone is a great way to express how you feel or what you want to say - except, of course, it always sounds better!

The problem is, too many people try to pass off famous (or even obscure) quotes as their own... WRONG!!! Nothing will make you look like a loser faster than ganking an awesome DOORS lyric or bit of philosophical wisdom and trying to make others think it yours.

When it comes to quoting, remember this rule: There is always someone out there who know your stolen quote intimately and you will always get caught!

Try this instead... Cite your source!!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using someone else's words as long as you give them proper credit! Look, we're not writing term papers here. This is the Internet and the Internet is "serious business" ;) Here are two great ways to utilize quotes:

  1. Direct Quotes - Put your stolen quote in quotation marks (" ") and attribute that quote to its author.

    Example 1: "Out here in the perimeter there are no stars... Out here we is stoned Immaculate." - Jim Morrison

    Example 2: "I am but a bastion of innocence in a forest of deceit." - Lolagrrl
    This works really well for those little boxes where you are asked to sum up who you are in a sentence or two.

  2. Indirect Quotes - Apply your stolen quote as a way to describe yourself but give credit where credit is due!
    Attribute it any way you want to... hell, depending on the popularity of the quote, you can even leave it vague, just make sure that you keep it honest.

    Example #1: I'm a down-to-earth, really sweet kinda guy. I guess you could say that I'm a "bastion of innocence in a forest of deceit." ;) (BTW - I didn't come up w/that line but I wish I did!)

    Example #2: There's this great writer named Lolagrrl who likes to call herself "A bastion of innocence in a forest of deceit"... Yup... that's me too.

The bottom line is that attributing someone else's words to them (directly or indirectly) doesn't make you look like an unoriginal idiot, it makes you look like a well-read person who has many interests!

It's when you don't attribute that makes you look like a idiot.

NEXT: I'll give you a list of sites where you can find some great quotes

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Cut-and-Paste-Personality

Here's the original Wall Street Journal Article by Jennifer Saranow that inspired this blog.

Ironically enough, I originally saw a shorter version of this in another newspaper under the title, "Online Dating's New Kind of Cheat."

Don't worry Jennifer, they cited you properly.

Put your "Best Self" out there fella!

So I was reading an article in the paper today about how people are stealing quotes and phrases from other people's dating profiles in order to make themselves sound better... how sad is that? I mean, what the hell happens if your stolen profile nets you a date with the girl of your dreams? You're SCREWED pal! Women are smart and they'll be able to tell in a heartbeat whether or not you REALLY finished the Boston Marathon in under 6 hours. Especially if (no offense dude) you look like you spent 5 of those hours in the nearest Krispy Kreme.

But on the other side... I realized that there are probably a lot of guys (and gals!) out there who just don't have the time or know-how to express themselves better.

Thierry Khalfa says he had a good excuse to copy: His English isn't so good. The 44-year-old Frenchman first cobbled a ho-hum profile that said he liked to cook and enjoyed walks on the beach. Then he stumbled across the profile of Mike Matteo, 47, a screenwriter in Tampa, Fla. Mr. Matteo's profile had such nuggets as, "I have a sweet tooth, love my strawberry twizzlers and cheesecake jelly beans."

Without thinking twice, Mr. Khalfa says, he copied Mr. Matteo's prose because it also fit him to a tee...
So, after reading the entire article (see my next post) I decided I'd try to help these poor schmucks who can't help themselves by creating some fake profiles and posting them here.

The way I see it, it might help curb some of the profile ganking that goes on out there... plus, I get to make some fun shit up!

So there you have it. Stay tuned for my pretend profiles and feel free to steal from them. Oh... and guys, if you ~really~ are having trouble with your profile and want to be an ~honest~ person in the hopes of ~really~ meeting someone special; come back here soon... I'll also be offering my professional writing services for a reasonable rate.